Insomnia. ugh!

     Since it is almost 4am, I thought I would get a little bit festive with my font and swap it up. 

     It has been sooooooooooooooo long since I have been able to go to sleep at a normal time and wake up before noon.  My husband wakes up between 5am & 6am and most mornings I am greeting him with a goofy grin and telling him to get up.  These hormones have got to straighten out sometime.  Damn PCOS!!!  It seems as one symptom starts to go away another develops.  I have been dealing with the sleepless nights for about 3 weeks now.
    The earliest I wake up on my own is around 11am.  Its a good thing that I rearranged the kitchen for the girls a month ago.  They are at the age where they can fix basic food for themselves without my assistance. This was mainly aimed at my oldest who you would think was raised by a share cropper in the early 1900s and worked his kids in the fields.  This child is on farm time!   She would wake me up before 8am wanting me to feed her or do whatever.  So now, everything that she needs is at her fingertips and she feeds herself.  It has definitely been a blessing since all of this insomnia has arose.
      Occupying my time late at night is a chore.  Since I am self proclaimed "domestically challenged" I will not partake in any cleaning.  I am normally talking to my 7 year old until 2/3ish who is the night owl and she will finally conk out around 3:15.  Then, I will move to my bed if not there already and see whats on tv.  I have recently gotten back in Law&Order:SVU & Criminal Intent.  Its great when I can watch it all night.  So, tonight I decided to work on the blog some.  Here I am!
     Ooooh!  Funny story from my all night tv watching.  We have Twilight Breaking dawn Part 1&2 on our dvr.  So, I watched both a few nights ago.  My husband woke up, looked at me and the tv and went back to sleep.  About 45 minutes later, he started making these weird faces, moans and held his hand up like he was testifying in church.  I busted out laughing so hard!  it was so hilarious.  My outburst scared him awake.  Well, he then went back to sleep.  he told me the next day that he had crazy dreams about vampires chasing after him all night.  Love it!
     Earlier I mentioned that when one symptom seems to lessen another will appear.  The symptom that I am talking about is my weight/insulin sensitivity!  Just the past week, I have noticed that my midsection is slimming.  Today, I noticed that I have lost a back roll!  YES, I LOST A FULL BACK ROLL!!!  That is huge news and a victory for any woman.  In a future post I will talk about the new supplement that I am on that I believe has helped with this. 
     In addition to the supplement that I take twice a day, I am drinking at least 2-5 cups of hot tea a day.  Now, my cups of tea are huge and could be considered 2 cups in one.  I drink a variety of teas and also mix my teas together at times for new flavors.  I drink spearmint for testosterone, green tea for all its wonderfulness and dandelion root for detox.  I have mixed all 3 of those together because dandelion by itself makes me gag. I also like the sleepytime teas at night with my girls.  
     Tea drinking is a tradition that I started with my yia yia and she started my girls on it a few years ago.  It was so funny to hear a 4 year old ask for hot tea!  Due to how I live my life and what I allow the girls to have, my yia yia has made a few adjustments to what mixes with their teas, but they all love it!  We normally share a cup of tea when we first start our school work in the afternoons now. 
     It is now 4:05am and I hear my little one laughing at the Disney channel.  She is normally out by now.  Just called her in hear and she reported that her oldest is asleep.  When I informed her that it was after 4, she did what looked to be a tribal dance and declared that it was almost 7.

Here is to eventually going to sleep!

This whole stay at home mom thing...

     I can remember being a teen and saying that I COULD NEVER be a stay at home mom.  I wanted a career and my me time.  I was strongly independent.
     Once I had children,  this idea of staying home was even more undesirable to me.  I was the mom, I needed a break/vacation from it and the house.  How could I be at home all day with these kids.  I would have NO LIFE? 
     Forward seven years.   My PCOS is making work difficult and I just was needing a change, but what that was I had no clue.
     So, after reluctantly putting my kids in public school Chloe was having issues.   She was in second grade.  Her teacher would barely communicate with me.  She suggested that Chloe had some form of adhd and needed meds.  TEACHERS CAN SAY THAT!  I was unaware of that at the time.  She went on to say my child was in lala land, had no clue what was going on, but then said Chloe would  give non verbal clues to let her know that she knew the answers.  Which is it lady?
     I had Chloe tested by a top child psychologist in our town.  We did an interview together.   They saw that my Chloe could understand and use sarcasm very well and couldn't be tricked.  The child had me wanting to crawl under the couch at times.  She also did a play test and paper test.
     A week later, we received the results.  Chloe came back with that she was gifted,  her IQ higher than previously tested at and she needed to be in 4th grade by the public school standards she was in.  I was so relieved, but upset at how this teacher tried to write my child off and suggested to repeat the first grade.
     In that moment, I decided to homeschool Chloe while working full time.  I had lots of friends that did it.  I would have a great support system.   Chloe was excited for it.  I was scared as hell.  I withdrew her the first day back to school in January 2014.
     Chloe was so unsure of herself it broke my heart.  She was broken by the environment she was in at public school. She was afraid to make a mistake.  Public school opened my eyes to common core and how screwed up it was.  I made it worse by trying to make homeschool school at home.
     After a month of just tears and agony, we took a break.  I needed to rethink what I had gotten myself I to.  What about my child?  So, we deschooled for the next few months.  Nothing formal, more verbal and on site learning.  I was slowly getting my Chloe back.
     As this homeschool journey was starting,  I began to want to be there all the time. I wanted to raise my kids dull time,  not part time.  I wanted to enjoy every moment.   One day with Chloe, I was talking to her about a math concept and she finally got it.  She lit up like a Christmas tree and was so happy and proud of herself!  I did not want to miss that moment anymore.  I had to be a stay at home mom and homeschool full time.
     I ended up buying a business that I could run absentee owner, but my bosses at the agency didn't see it that way and made me resign.  I sort of had an out of body experience at that moment.   The way I was let go wasn't on the up and up I found out, but I am not a retaliation type person anymore.  God doesn't like ugly and that's all I will say about that.
     So, I was unemployed.   Well, not exactly;  I had this business.  I loved it.  Things were going were going great until my PCOS kicked up ten notches and forcing me on my back along with some unfortunate circumstances that unfolded at the same time leaving me back at square one.
     I am now homeschooling both girls.  This is the second year with both.  We are slowly building a great rhthym.  We are still very non traditional, in my opinion.   I do not buy a big box curriculum.   I tell them,"you have to know math, reading, writing" the rest will fall into place. 
     My support system is smaller than when I started.   I have family talk about me and my children and saying that I am harming their development.   This hurts, but they have no clue. They do not see the progress we are making and the knowledge they are obtaining. If my naysayers would educate themselves on public education vs. What I can facilitate as a homeschool mom, then I would be open for a discussion. Until then, they can kick rocks.
     Right now, we are living life.  I explained that if they wanted to; they could graduate school early.  They like this in theory.   Some days, they will work for several hours to get a lot done and then slack a day.  I do not force the extra work.  It's up to them.
     I am loving being a stay at home mom!  My husband finally supports this move and we are ok.  We are learning to simplify our life and passing it onto our kids.  We are having more family time and that time is also used to educate our children.
     Where do I want this to go?  I want to road school!  Jump in the car/rv and drive this country learning about all it's wonders and experience it with my children. No tuition would ever be able to pay for that experience!

Jess